Item VL-001

I cannot trust myself with unrestricted internet access and I kept on uninstalling or finding way to bypass my current blocker cold turkey.

Cold turkey is cool, it has helped significantly in quelling my very real addiction to seeing things on a screen, surfing as people use to say (i wish it i had an IRL surfing addiction instead). Recently the developer introduced a delay function and a autoblock feature, combined together you could effectively introduce a wait time before accessing the desired block domain/app and also make sure that if the block was deactivated for some reason, it would be back on the next time you start your machine. This is not bad. But cumbersome, it felt like forcing an app that was not designed for this to act as a “delay”-type blocker. Beyond that, its not so much of a delay if you can just launch the “wait” timer for your next allowed session and just go do something else to pass the time (like using your phone instead or your TV). This is not about the blocker. Its about impulse control. If it is not internet it would be something else that I/we would jump on to avoid the silence. What we avoid within ourselves by turning outwards to distractions.

So i thought: is there a way to check for our presence and stillness while using a screen ? And if so, could that be married to a blocker system ?

Can I introduce some welcomed friction to access time sink websites in a way that is playful and efficient?

When my early results confirmed that this was possible the final question was then:

does this make you more aware of the impulses that drive you to consume?

So then, a delay based webblocker that uses your front camera (or webcam) to check your are present and still. Gaze-detection, face-detection are what make this all work.

You write out what domain you want to block (like youtube.com) set a stare amount, a session length time (your allowance) and done.

It also has a hard lock if you want to stop yourself from changing settings like block or stare time when you feel like caving in. is Also delay based.

Im also playing around with a meditation mode, wallgazing style in the zen tradition I’d say,

but then thats retarded just go stare at a real wall instead. So  i added a focus object, a dot, inspired by kasina style meditation, problem is, a true kasina meditation would ask you to close your eyes and then follow the focus object after-image. this would break the gaze-detection. Im considering making a more merciful system just for that feature.

Its very rough rn but it works for me, the “game mechanics” work. Which is what i wanted to test.

But did it change my life? Kinda...

I notice that around the 40 sec mark of staring at this blank screen ( and fucking around doing faces), I always start to consider what are my reasons for accessing “the website”.I’m forced to feel what it is, and to settle with the discomfort of looking at the thing i want to distract myself from. Its a very strange feeling: Im forced to stare at a screen so that i will be able to stare at a screen some more but this time, with “the website” and whatever content its going to infinitely supply to my eyeballs. This has the effect of a pattern interrupt in the scrolling habit (“Why am I doing this, really?”). Truly a disrupting technology as the tech bro love to say.

So whats clear for me is that access to infinite scroll based platforms should always be limited (timed sessions). How else can you contain what is infinitely generating content than by putting it into a finite shell? a container for infinite content = time.

As for the initial questions:

I am more aware of my impulses and this delay creates a space where I can observe them pulling me in all directions to avoid looking at the uncomfortable, unsettling, permanent tension that being is, really. but to say that this is like meditation or that it can do more than introducing a space between impulse and response and reveal to you insights on your nature would be false. The wall cannot know if your zoning out, but it makes it harder to distract yourself with anything else beyond that.

Maybe this could be paired with a quick writing session ? Or maybe learning, like anki or a book ?

This was obviously built first for phones, which all have front-facing cameras now, and where we scroll the most, so i’ll come back to it eventually.

I’ve removed google play (android) and all infinite scroll type apps from my phone anyway, so not a priority.

the web version is just the game. stare into the void, see how long you last. try it →

it's packaged now. windows, one download, $29 once. the same thing described in this log — the gate, the hard lock, the meditation mode — running on your machine instead of mine.